This is a question I always get asked. What do I give? What is appropriate? All coming from a good place of wanting to ensure the couple are not disappointed. 

It is also one of them hot topics that can be difficult to discuss as it can also bring out the other side, with people saying - what does it matter? The couple are just happy you are there and celebrating, if you give a gift - it is a bonus.

And all of this is true.

But it is a commonly asked question, so we discuss.

Couples nowadays are usually living together prior to their wedding. This started to outdate a gift registry as couples didn’t need items for their established home. 

I haven’t had a couple add a gift registry to their wedding in years, and it has been a while since a couple have put in a verse politely asking for money if the guest wishes to give a gift. 

I put out a poll to see what people give or think should be given, and as expected - it had the most votes and comments on anything I have posted. Let’s discuss these results first:

Cash is king, very few people were giving a gift. And most said they would give money, even if there was a registry. A guest that is a close friend/close family/wedding party was giving double to the couple, than what they would to a couple they weren’t as close to. Example - Your best friend gave you twice as much as the cousin you see once a year. Expected.

People voted highest that they would give half the amount to a couple if it was a destination wedding. BUT, the second highest vote was that they would give the couple double they normally would for a destination wedding. Interesting.

The ‘norm’ for a wedding 2023: 

Single wedding guest attending the whole day / inc. destination wedding - £50

A couple attending the whole day / inc. destination wedding - £100

Close family/close friend/wedding party - at least £100

Evening guest only - £25

I actually agree with these numbers, maybe because I am so used to them as these have been standard for quite a few years. I think the destination wedding gift is more difficult for people as there has been a lot more expense put on the guest to attend - flights, hotel, longer time off work etc. so I think to give less to a destination wedding is absolutely reasonable. 

At the end of the day, it is like any gift giving - you give what you are comfortable with. Gifts are not an expectation at any event, but always appreciated.