When you put forward this question to people – 90% of people will return with a list that looks more like a set of rules. Let’s try and correct this narrative.  

There are many rules we can list of the top of our heads that have been passed down through generations and played on repeat - do not wear a long white dress, don’t be late, don’t get too drunk – especially if doing a speech, don’t bring an uninvited plus one…. You see where I am going with this list. But there is a different type of list that isn’t mentioned as often, that guests would benefit from hugely – and that is what I would like to discuss.

1. DO get a photo with the couple! Believe it or not – this is something I personally struggle with. As a Wedding Planner I am used to being in the background and making sure everything is perfect while trying to stay invisible, so I struggle to approach couples on their wedding day when I am attending as a guest. But we need to remember… The couple have invited you to this day as you are very important in their life, get the photo! The couple have usually spent over a year planning this day, get the photo! The couple have spent more time getting ready for this day than any other event in their lifetime, get the photo!
   
   One of my best friends got married last year and I do not have one picture together with him and his bride due to this, I have one separately, but not together. Get the photo!!

2. DO RSVP before the deadline, with the intention to fulfil that response. Whether a wedding is 50 people, or 500 people – a huge amount of planning goes into it. Your response matters. For example – many venues have a max. capacity so couples usually have more people that they would love there, so if you can’t go, give them notice so they can fill the space with another special person in their life.

3. DO RSVP – we’re doing this one again and louder for the people at the back! Not responding to an RSVP because the couple “would know you would be there” – is not a vibe! There is so much time, effort and cost that goes into invites – please reply. Couples are making it even easier these days with an online RSVP to their mailed invite. 

4. DO enjoy yourself! You are celebrating! The ceremony and meal are over, get off that seat! Mingle, chat at the bar, get on the dancefloor!

5. DO sit close to the front at the ceremony. Obviously give the first two rows a miss unless you’re in the wedding party or immediate family. But other than that, get close! Fill rows with other friends and family in them. This creates a better atmosphere, you can hear and see the ceremony better, and the photographer’s photos will look amazing from all angles.

6. DON’T take photo’s during the ceremony. I know, I know, you are so happy and excited for the couple so capturing it on your phone is second nature. But there is a photographer present, and probably a videographer, that not only are getting a better quality photo but also need you present in the photo also. The photographer is also capturing reactions and moments between the friends and family, so give them a great shot!

7. DON’T contact the couple with wedding details on the couple weeks before the wedding. Most answers will be on your invite / wedding website. And if not – ask a bridesmaid / groomsman. The couple have put in a lot of time to organising this day, let them enjoy the final run up to the wedding day without questions, and enjoy their last couple weeks of their engagement. Excited texts are always welcome though! 

8. DO get involved. As weddings become less predictable, and more creative, get involved! Whether you’re given confetti, petals or paper aeroplanes – throw them. If there’s a photobooth with props – get in it and get them glasses on. If the couple decide to do a choreographed break dance as their first dance – get around that dancefloor and cheer them on!

These are a few of my Guest Do’s and Don’t’s. Mainly trying to focus on both the couple and the guests having the best day ever!